The Governor
Content Warnings1
“It wasn’t even a loaf! It was only a slice of bread!”
“You don’t understand: if any of my customers were to find a loaf with one less slice, why, my bakery would never hear the end of it! Even if no one sues, rumors would spread, and I would lose my integrity!”
“What’s more important: integrity, or a life? I’m starving here!”
“Is it your job to starve? Find a better one!”
Two equally frenzied voices screeched across the hall of grievances. This was the place where I, the governor, mediated between the petty squabbles of this rural province.
You might think that there was no need for someone in my position to bend down and hear the grievances of everyday crimes, but it’s quite the contrary. When the King appointed me governor, he gifted me a team of skilled courtiers who would carefully read and implement every bill our King passed, freeing me of a normal governor’s duties. Instead, I was to do a task that the King thought I was good at, which was presiding over the hall of grievances and keeping the calm.
For example…
“You should reconcile and help one another with grace and kindness.”
The bread thief, who was crying out hoarsely and kneeling on stick-like legs, looked up at me in unison with the bakery owner, startled. Even the knights, clad in iron that obscured their expressions, seemed to be confused.
Then I snapped my fingers, and a glassy look passed over the faces of the bread thief and the bakery owner. In the few seconds where the echo of my snap faded, their expressions had recovered, and the bakery owner hurried to help up the bread thief.
“I’m sorry that you felt that stealing was your only option. Why don’t you work for me at my bakery? We could always use another kitchen assistant.”
“I’m sorry that I stole from your store. Would you really take me in? But, I haven’t a home for myself and can’t promise to always arrive clean from yesterday’s filth…”
“Come stay at my home and help around the house. Then, when you’ve received enough pay, you could find your own home.”
“Why, thank you! Thank you so much!” The bread thief cried once more, this time in tears of joy instead of frustration.
Seeing the two immediately make peace, I sat back and deflated slightly on my seat.
As you can see, I can hypnotize any person in the vicinity of my voice with a snap of my fingers. To be clear, this ability doesn’t take much effort. On the other hand, thinking of the right words to say exhausts me.
I’ll admit that I was never the sharpest student at school. My parents hired dozens of tutors just so I’d be able to keep up with the rest of the class. To be honest, I once dreamed of a future where I would spend my days out by a quiet lake, fishing and sunbathing, while at night I could simply gawk at beauties down at the singers’ pavilion. Never did I imagine I would catch the attention of the King in such a way.
Luckily, I don’t have to do much. Perhaps aware of my aversion to paperwork, the King personally assigned a number of his own councilmen to assist me with the usual tasks. This was something that the King would not do for every minister, so I felt especially flattered and indebted. Holding these grievance sessions myself was my little way of showing appreciation.
Even though I held the power to hypnotize anyone, I didn’t dare use it for wrong now that I knew the King favored me so. Well, even without the King’s influence, I doubt that I’d use it for evil things; simple pleasures like fishing and gawking were all that I ever cared for in my life before I was a governor. But now that I had this powerful position, I might as well use it to keep everyone happy.
Down the center aisle of the hall of grievances, the bread thief and the bakery owner finished reconciling and bowed in embarrassment towards me, apologizing for wasting my precious time. This was a usual occurrence, and I simply waved them off with a few extra official-sounding words. They left with smiles emblazoned on their faces as the knights escorted them out.
And thus, I had defeated yet another would-be case. Feeling a little idle, I had a servant bring me a plate of refreshments. I needed strength to sit through the remaining hours of the day in this stifling hall.
⚜️
“Your Honor, this person is nothing more than a crook to be hanged! Why should I, much less anyone, pay taxes to keep this scum pampered in jail?”
“Your Honor, I was a witness to the murder—all of us were present. We knew this person was insane to begin with. It’s better to off them for the sake of humanity!”
This time, a small group of peasants dragged the offender in. The usual knights stood at attention at the group’s fringe, hands on hilts, ready for the moment where the peasants might go crazy.
Glancing over each peasant’s face, I felt that a few of them were familiar. I recognized many as local troublemakers who lazily spent their youth as hooligans and never amounted to much in their adult life.
Up to now, they had only dealt with petty pranks and acted as the neighborhood nuisance, so I never found a chance to pacify them. Even if they had caught a murderer by their own merit, I would definitely use this as an opportunity to recondition these good-for-nothings.
Only…how could I trust the words of troublemakers? Was there really a murderer?
“Bring that person to the front. Lift their face.”
The alleged murderer was tied up by some twine and remained silent and bowed throughout the session. As hands lifted the alleged murderer’s face, I noticed that their eyes and jaw were slack, as though disoriented and resigned. Angry welts and purpled skin dotted all over the alleged murderer’s body, which were visible through the tears in their coarse clothing, and it was uncertain if they were beaten before or after being tied up.
Wasn’t this sketchy? I asked the crowd, “Who was the person murdered?”
“The little wood-fetcher,” said one, “a very good wood-fetcher as well. They were quick to collect branches and thatch whenever there was a need. They were one of us good folks!”
“The wood-fetcher’s life will not go unavenged! Even the humblest of servants deserves some dignity. Your Honor, you must hang this murderer at once!”
Although there was much yelling and accusation, the alleged murderer remained as dazed and silent as before. I wondered if they were beaten too badly.
“So all of you witnessed the murder? What happened then, and how did you come across the scene?”
“Well, we were by the bend and teaching this imbecile some good things, when all of a sudden, they attacked. It was the wood-fetcher who jumped in and fended off the brunt, getting killed as a result. How evil! Luckily, we subdued this mad dog in the end and can ask for justice.”
“Teaching good things? What good things?”
“Hah, Your Honor doesn’t know, but this person like to pretend to not hear anything. I know that they’re faking because one time they reacted to getting their ears pulled. A deaf person can’t feel anything in their ears, that’s why they can’t hear. What’s the point of pretending? Anyway, we were trying to teach ‘em to pay attention to the road and stop getting run into.”
“How so?”
“By showing this dud what’ll happen if you don’t pay attention. It’s basic respect.”
Oh, so they were harassing this person, who was most likely deaf. Well, it’s a shame to be deaf, and it’s even more of a shame to have run into a bunch of uneducated troublemakers while deaf. No wonder the “murderer” looked so out of it.
But was it alright to kill someone? I suppose it was done out of self defense. I don’t recall a “wood-fetcher” position ever appearing in the province, so it was probably a small village chore. If this “wood-fetcher” was hanging around this bunch, I don’t think it was a genuine loss.
Seeing the deaf person’s eyes land on me with a faint expression of begging, I made my mind up.
“You should all reform yourselves and pay more attention to the needs of your community. Help the ones who are most disadvantaged, and protect those who cannot protect themselves.”
I snapped my fingers.
As usual, the effects were instantaneous. Several hands gingerly reached out to untie the deaf person’s bindings, softly apologizing and helping them to their feet. The deaf one stumbled and could barely stand, eventually finding a solution by awkwardly hanging an arm across another person’s shoulder.
“Sorry that we put you through everything we did…we just wanted to forget our own troubles.”
“I’m sorry, and for me, there’s no excuse. I had fun watching you sweat. I’m really sorry.”
“The wood-fetcher was drunk and became their own undoing. We shouldn’t have blamed you, who just happened to be there as things went down…”
“Let’s start over: I know that you’ve been trying hard to get your parents out of bed every day to get some sun. Elderly people are hard to care for. Why don’t I help you sometime?”
Each person spoke softly and carefully enunciated each word in front of the deaf person. Was this to make it easier to read their lips? I drowned out the noise of their fawning and attempted to read them myself. I couldn’t make out what they were saying as I did this.
I suppose that only time will tell if my hypnosis was successful. It sure didn’t seem optimistic, for even the deaf person looked mighty confused as the crowd stepped out of the hall, hand in hand.
⚜️
“The night is for rest. If I do not have silence in what little time I can sleep at night, then I cannot do my work. I simply cannot fathom how my tenants coped with their own jobs this morning!”
“So what? We made a bit of noise. This was the first time that my sister and I had seen each other since the plague! Neither of us can read or write, so we had no chance of knowing that the other was still alive. Can’t you be a little more understanding? Would it kill you to be kind?”
“In this situation, yes! It would kill me! I haven’t had a proper night’s rest in years!”
This time, there were three people: a proprietress, and a brother and sister.
Apparently, the siblings became a squealing mess in the night and disrupted the peace of a certain sector. The proprietress came on behalf of herself and her tenants to make a formal noise complaint.
A silly complaint, but I suppose that every complaint is silly. Good grief, how could I solve such a ridiculous complaint?
“Your Honor, there are many more people behind me who want to convict these two of a crime. These people have lived in the area all their lives and took for granted the peace that the local knights have always promised. I fear that, if we let this occasion slide, that the knights won’t do their due diligence anymore!”
The two knights who stood by the doorway looked uncomfortable at the words of the proprietress. Actually, I couldn’t tell, since their helmets obscured their faces.
Was this primarily a complaint about the knights rather than the siblings?
“Are you making a case against these two, or the knights?” I asked.
“I want to convict these two,” clarified the proprietress, “and get some smarter knights to patrol our area. The ones that hang about these days, all they do is stuff their faces with meat and spend the nights out whoring. Some respectable knights, like these two here, would do!” She gestured at the two knights standing at rapt attention by the doors.
Well, were they standing at rapt attention? Again, I couldn’t tell because of their helmets.
So, even with all the training that knights undergo, there were still so many that dared to be lazy? Incredible. I made a note in the back of my mind to have the knights at my residence go through a surprise exercise. It’s always good to keep some extra precautions about security, after all.
Ah, right. What to do about this case? Since it was just one occasion of a noise complaint, I didn’t think that it was a big deal. After hearing the story of the siblings, I especially thought that it was no problem.
In the first place, not everyone is asleep at night. Sometimes noise just can’t be avoided. If something interrupts the peace of night, couldn’t everyone just make do?
Living with others brings a lot of convenience, so surely one would get used to the bitter details in exchange.
“Be forgiving and communicative in times like this. Understand your emotions and be willing to understand the emotions of others. Help find humanity in one another and reconcile.”
I snapped my fingers.
The proprietress, after recovering from the spell, sighed and faced the siblings with a stern expression: “I don’t appreciate loud sounds at night. I recently became pregnant with child, and I’m doing everything I can to protect the life of my baby. My tenants have all complained to me about the ruckus that you two caused, which has given me a lot of added stress. Filing a case against you two was a way for me to feel like I had control again. You were my last straw. I apologize for all the trouble I put you through.”
The brother and sister nodded and hung their heads, apologetic. “We should have paid attention to the time and location.” Said the brother.
“We’re definitely at fault. It’s one thing to feel joy, but it’s another to remain civilized as one expresses it. We’ll apologize formally to your tenants as well; hopefully this is enough.”
They shared a solemn handshake in the center of the hall, mist rising in their eyes. I dismissed the three and relaxed in the quiet of their leaving.
That night, I retired to my abode, tired and famished. I sat at a long dining table with one chair, reserved specially for myself, and an abundance of cooling foods to combat the lingering heat. At the time where my servants brought out a chilled custard, however, a noisy cicada started droning right outside the window.
“Won’t someone get rid of that noise?” I shouted at my servants. After a few long minutes, the droning disappeared.
I took a bath to wring out the day’s sweat and wore my finest pajamas to keep cool. The blanket that laid atop me was as light as air, and the bed canopy that I often drew closed was left open to promote airflow.
But just as I felt myself sink into the realm of sleep, I heard an annoying chirping disturb the night. It was as if a cricket had wandered into the walls of my bedroom.
At that point, I felt much too lazy to get up and have someone deal with it, and I made to bear with the dreadful sound.
In the end, I couldn’t sleep and told my servants that the hall of grievances would not open that day, for I was far too tired.
⚜️
“Your Honor, there is a crowd of peasants outside the hall. We’ve stopped them from entering to ensure your safety.”
“Excellent work. Find out who the key parties are,” I told the knight, “and escort them in. The rest shall wait outside so long as they don’t cause a commotion.”
Watching the knight hurry back to do as I ordered, I felt a little regretful. It might have been better to hypnotize the entire crowd all at once. That way, I could be certain that nothing bad would happen by letting that crowd hang around the hall.
But, by allowing all the peasants to come and testify, it would take all day to find a consensus. And it’s a pain to hypnotize so many people at once.
Well, whatever. Keeping the public safe was the knights’ duty, so there was no need to go the extra measure. The knights could handle it.
After receiving my order, the knights brought two people into the hall of grievances: one who stood upright with a hint of annoyance, and a second who wore a hesitant expression. The latter’s cheeks seemed to be stained with water.
“Well, what’s the matter? State the purpose of your visit.” I commanded.
“Nothing’s the matter. People are just overreacting. Please lend me some knights to escort me to my home; I have a field to keep, but these people insisted I come for some idiotic reason.” Said the first.
“The knights aren’t errand runners. Since there’s nothing wrong, I don’t see why I should waste a few for your sake.”
“No—Your Honor, there is something.” The second person finally spoke up. “This person is responsible—”
“Don’t talk nonsense, now.”
“…This person—I—”
“Your Honor, there’s no need to waste your time.”
“Speak clearly and do not interrupt each other.” I snapped my fingers impatiently. After they recovered from the hypnotic glaze, I pointed at the second person: “Now, tell me what happened, you.”
“This person has assaulted me, and the village wishes to do away with them.” The second person drew a heavy breath before continuing. “I understand the village’s concerns, but I do not want to condemn anyone to death. I just hope that we can all live in peace in the future, so I implore Your Honor’s counsel.”
“You’re acting real high and mighty.” The first one scoffed. “Your Honor, this person is no better than a prostitute. All they do is sit around all day, dressing up and talking about vapid things. Me, huh, I’m a hard worker. Every day, from dawn to dusk, I’m out in the fields. When I get back, I want to relax. Sex is just one thing I indulge in to unwind—pardon my vulgarity, but it’s true.”
“I cannot work like most. The village knows this, and you of all people should know why.” The second one frowned. “I try to uplift everyone’s spirits by talking and fixing small things. I wear a lot of different clothes because the villagers always gift me new ones, and I show my thanks by wearing them. Even if these things were not true, I don’t think there’s a reason to disrespect me so.”
“And why would they give you clothes? Why would you give nice clothes to a workless person? It’s because this person is a seducer. Don’t talk like I was acting out of line. I was just doing the things you wanted from me.”
“Your Honor, this isn’t true.”
“Talk, talk, talk—why don’t you shut up for once! Your Honor, if you had seen this person in the village, you would agree with every word I have. Actions speak louder than words, anyway. Look at how this person tries to twist black from white! I said this whole thing was a bunch of nonsense from the start. Your Honor needn’t sit through the rest: it’ll just be even more talking!”
I rubbed my forehead as the first person continued down a long spiel of complaints. Maybe it was a mistake to hypnotize them to not interrupt each other. It didn’t seem like the second person would have done much to contradict the first, though.
“—And how could you even call it assault? You didn’t even fight back once! How could I have known that I was supposedly ‘assaulting’ you?”
I held up a hand to look at the second person and ask, “Is this true? Did you or did you not fight back at the time of the event?”
“No, Your Honor, I did not fight back.”
“Don’t you see? Mixed signals here! And you want to turn this against me? Unbelievable.”
“Why didn’t you fight back?” I inquired.
“Your Honor…this isn’t the first time this person has offended me.” The second one spoke slowly. “I didn’t realize I could fight back until I talked to a friend. This all started when I was young, so I was used to it. My friend was the one who alerted the village, and now we’re all here.”
A wave of nausea washed over me as I listened, kneading my temples. Geez, why do I have to deal with something like this? Why couldn’t these villagers just do away with this person first? That way, all I’d have to deal with was a murder.
“Even when you’re young, a child knows to hit someone if they get beaten. Why didn’t you fight back then?” I asked listlessly.
“Your Honor, this person is a relative of mine. I thought we were family, so how could I think to fight back?”
Gross. Disgusting. Why am I here?
Since the second person had nothing else to say, the rapist started blabbing on some more. I rested my chin on the palm of my hand to think of a way to resolve this case.
There was the fact that the rapist was a farmer, and farmers were valuable. The plague of the previous year had left many farmers bedridden for an extended period, and the province has been struggling to meet the King’s quota since then. We needed all the help we could get, so death was not an option for this rapist.
But this kind of behavior was unproductive. This rapist needed to reform their ways to set the village at ease, yet clearly refused to recognize their faults. I needed to arrange something that would both pacify the angry villagers and keep the rapist in working condition.
“Since committing assault, you feel extreme shame. Shame strong enough to deny your own bloodline and throw yourself into work.” I snapped my fingers. I looked over the second person and spontaneously added another hypnosis: “Since suffering through various things stated today, you have built great fortitude. From now on, you will be able to preemptively and proactively protect yourself from harm.” I snapped my fingers once more.
It took a little longer for the hypnotic glaze to wear off, but at the moment that their eyes focused, the rapist looked down at their hands, visibly shaking. The second person blinked once, then looked past the rapist without expression.
“Open the doors and escort them out.” I ordered one knight. They scampered forward on hot heels.
A mob of peasants rushed in the moment the doors opened, regardless of shouts of scolding by the handful of knights outside. They gathered around the second person, scorning the rapist.
“What happened? What has the governor decreed?”
“Are you okay? Were you fine standing alone with that scum?”
“What should we do about—”
“Silence! Make order in the governor’s presence!” One knight who rushed in to control the mob shouted, drowning out the rest. “Your Honor, what is your decree?”
“Uh…” I glanced over at the rapist. “What do you deserve?”
“I…I should be neutered like a dog!”
The hall fell silent after this declaration.
“Hm, sterilization? Yes, I suppose that works. Go on and do that, whoever. Just not here.”
The crowd whispered to one another as the knights dragged the rapist away. After confirming that the second person did not feel wronged by this decree, the peasants followed the urging of the knights and left the hall peacefully.
That evening, I took the time to visit the singers’ pavilion to rid my thoughts of the day. Although I can enter anywhere I want and receive the best treatment due to my status, I had a fond habit of skulking about the pavilion and gawking at beauties from afar. So, I did the same for that night, reminiscing on the countless similar nights of my youth.
The security of this pavilion was quite good. The guards regularly patrolled the perimeter and caught several peepers each round, previously hidden alongside myself. Each time, the apprehended peeper burst into a long string of expletives and urgency, disrupting the mood, but amusing all the same. I never got caught, of course, being a well-practiced peeper with many battles under my belt.
I couldn’t help but chuckle as the fourth person of the night got yanked out of the bushes without warning. Despite their youthful appearance, I was certain that they would receive a harsh scolding for their failure.
⚜️
“Who’s the one making this case?” I asked, confused.
Below me stood two different parties: a party of one dressed in fine clothes with bold indigo hemming, and another party of three tramps dressed in some kind of foreign ensemble, faded and wrinkled into shapelessness.
“Us, Your Honor,” said one of the trio, “but it was me who asked for an audience.” This tramp had a bandage wrapped around their forearm, deep red, as though wrapped only recently.
“And the problem is?”
“Well, attempted murder…that is against your laws, is it not?”
“I believe it was within my rights, Your Honor,” said the person in fine clothes, “to take certain measures if words were not enough. I would not resort to force if I had no choice.”
“I believe you.” I scrutinized the tragic-looking trio. Each of the tramps were well built, if not looking a little worse for wear. The hair on their heads looked dull and oily, and the cloth shoes on their feet had holes and cracks that implied repeated stress. “Well, state your side of affairs, and we shall see.”
“Yes.” The person in fine clothes cleared their throat: “I have a large property granted to me by the King for my family’s allegiance throughout the years. With the help of a relative, I’ve been developing it into a fine estate which I hope to move into with my family by the year’s end. As of late, however, there have been trespassers on the property. Vandalism and a dreadful stench. My private guards have done their best to enforce privacy, but these three kept returning. So, I ordered my guards to scare them off with some more force for the last time. Well, I can assert the negligence of my guards, but it was indeed my order that enabled them. What do you think, Your Honor?”
Indeed, at that point, it was customary to kill the trespassers. How could this noble allow such a case to surface? Although I felt annoyed by the person’s ineptitude, I affirmed, “It was indeed within your right to protect your property. So now, what about you lot? Why did you return after being told not to?”
“There was no other way! Don’t you know how strangely your kingdom runs?!” One tramp blurted out in a strange accent. The other two quickly shushed them with a few foreign words, and the one with a bandage stepped forward with an ingratiating face.
“Word has gone ‘round of your wise and merciful judgement. I trust Your Honor’s integrity and hope that you will offer our story the same grace you afford your fortunate subjects, that we too may receive justice.”
The tramp’s grave tone startled me as I nodded and gestured for them to continue.
“As you might have guessed, my peers and I are not native to this land. We were recruited for work in the land of Y, near the end of the plague. It was a builder’s job promising fair pay. Our employer deducted money from our salaries for us to stay there, something not explicitly said until we arrived. This past year, we concluded our contracted work, but got kicked out of our lodgings without warning. We came here by a caravan with heavy covers and strict scheduling—we could hardly use the bathroom on the way here, let alone get a sense of our surroundings—and so we had no idea how we’d return home. No one at the construction site had ever heard of our home, and few locals were willing to speak with us; the few who did, similarly, knew nothing of our home.
Our funds depleted, and we could no longer stay at hotels. We began living on the streets—is what you would assume, yes? Because the streets are there and let anyone be seen, feel lost, find a path to follow. Well, to our surprise, we were not even afforded the streets when it was all we had.”
I frowned, hearing this. “You’ll have to explain this to me: how could the streets not belong to the people? Who else could they belong to?”
The tramp laughed, not unkindly, but like a breath too heavy to contain, too light to express anything at all. “We were told exactly this, Your Honor: ‘the streets belong to the people, and the people feel burdened by your presence.’ Yes, the trouble of securing food and shelter led us to neglect our appearances and grow careless with our hygiene. One of us caught a fever in the night, a fever that brought our numbers down to the three you see before you today. I’ve had a sore throat since then, and I can only imagine that I’m next. Sickness aside, we were constantly told that the ‘people’ had called knights on us to urge us to a different place. There was no rest after we lost our shelter. There was only ‘go’.
One place remained in our memory: the construction site we worked at. Even though we left on awkward terms, surely we could receive some grace on account of our past. No grace was given, to be frank. Every time we found a guard, they would shoo us away without hearing a word of ours. Fortunately, there weren’t many on patrol, and we could camp on the grounds, biding our time and recovering some long-lost rest. I’ll admit, we got complacent and felt comfortable squatting there without permission, mostly because the land was sweet and the water was clear. Life could persist, and we wanted to live.”
Hearing this, the one in fine clothes looked astonished and said rather frantically, “Was this the case all along? I had no idea! So you were some of the workers we hired. Well, I’m sorry that things have come to this.”
The look of compassion on the person’s face pleasantly surprised me. Perhaps I wouldn’t need to hypnotize anyone this time around.
Then, the person turned to me with a fervent air: “Your Honor, shouldn’t your men do something about this? Why not run a shelter for refugees or offer more help for those unfamiliar with our land? After all, if we want to keep our villages looking nice and safe, we need a place for all the unfortunate to be!”
…Huh?
Wasn’t this an illogical conclusion?
Why did I have to be responsible for anything here?
It’s not like all towns in the province worked like yours. There were plenty of places where the people didn’t care who were on the streets. It just so happened that these three found themselves in a certain place and couldn’t walk their way out.
You’re just making extra work for me.
“Be responsible for your own actions, and deal with the unforeseen consequences with humanity and grace.” I snapped my fingers.
As usual, tears were shed, and the two parties shook hands, making grand statements and such. I watched on with a bit of annoyance, recalling the noble’s words.
“Let them go, quickly.” I alerted a guard. As they walked out, one tramp—the one who blurted out earlier—turned back to speak to me.
“Your Honor,” they said with a heavy accent, “thank you for granting us fair trial. I wish you well.”
“You as well.” I replied, numbly.
Later that day, I went out on a walk with my subordinates, surveying the land under my name. At one point, I heard a strange, high-pitched whimper, and turned my sights towards a sloppily built fence post, which hid a stray puppy.
I could hardly tell what kind of beast it was, for its fur was heavily matted and plagued with dirt. Its shivering made me uncomfortable, and I ordered my servants to take care of the poor thing.
Right before my supper, the servants presented the puppy to me, fully cleansed. Its fur was a rowdy, tawny brown that was trimmed handsomely, much like the hunting dogs of Duke M. Its eyes were watery and black, black, as black as black could be. I poked its forehead and felt amused by its curious gaze as it panted with its tongue lolled to one side.
Inspired by a nameless feeling, I had my supper with the puppy and watched in rising concern as it failed to drink its milk. Try as they might, the servants couldn’t coax the little beast to take a sip. By the time I had my steak, the puppy was worn with anxiety by all the coaxing.
The puppy was given a fine cushion by the foot of my bed to sleep on. I observed that it was a very good-natured dog, having not barked or growled once at my side. A sensible dog indeed.
In the morning, however, there was no dog, only the corpse of the little puppy resting on a fine cushion. I thought it was a shame and planned on buying a new dog from a well-known breeder to replace the unfortunate memory.
⚜️
The doors of the grievance hall opened slowly to reveal a sorry-looking figure dressed in fine red clothes, dragged along on their knees by two knights.
“Your Honor,” said one knight, “we received a tip that a local auction house has been conducting money laundering and uses auctions as a front. This person is the auctioneer.”
Money laundering? But only one person got apprehended?
Shouldn’t this case happen elsewhere? The hall of grievances only worked when two parties were at odds and needed some convincing to get along again. What was the point of presenting one person of a multi-layered crime?
And besides that…
I cleared my throat and looked down at the auctioneer. “How often did you wash the gold?”
“I never got to see the gold except for my pay, Your Honor.” The auctioneer said with a well-projected voice.
“Were you…engaged in money laundering?”
“I wasn’t Your Honor.”
“Have you ever been engaged in laundering?”
“Only with the laundering of clothes, Your Honor.”
I sat back on my opulent chair and tapped on the armrests with a finger. My eyes flitted to the knights, who stood at attention as usual. After recovering their legs, the auctioneer at the center of the hall stood as straight and arrogant as the knights who dragged them in.
“Always tell the full truth to the best of your ability.” I snapped my fingers. After the hypnotic glaze wore off, I repeated, “How often did you wash the gold?”
“I’ve never washed gold in my life, Your Honor, and I don’t really know why anyone but a blacksmith would do it. Gold is too precious to mess with, don’t you think? Unless you’re an expert, how could you wash gold? Fresh gold—I’ve been fortunate enough to see it—looks beautiful. I could stare at a newly minted coin all day. But I don’t know how to make a dirty coin clean, that’s for sure.” The auctioneer rambled and blushed, then rambled some more, as though they couldn’t help themselves. I took it that the auctioneer was a much simpler person than they tried to present themself as and felt relieved.
“Were you engaged in money laundering?”
“To be honest, I don’t know what money laundering is. All I know is how to read numbers and to call them out. I mean, if it turned out that we were doing something wrong, gee, I’m sorry for not knowing.”
I pondered the auctioneer’s answers and thought once more that there was nothing I could do. Not only was the wrong person brought to the hall, but there was also little opportunity to “fix” the problem.
Why did my knights bring this person here?
“Perhaps the knights brought you here by mistake. Besides these unfortunate events, do you have any grievances to announce?”
“My own grievances? I don’t know. Let me think a little—you wouldn’t mind, right, Your Honor?”
I nodded, granting the auctioneer permission to speak their mind.
“One grievance that I feel guilty for having relates to my family. They left in the early days of the plague to flee the rising instability in the province. We had only one mule to carry all our belongings, but I was recovering from a terrible injury that same year.” The auctioneer stuck out their left leg and pointed at their shin, though nothing looked out of the ordinary now. “As my siblings put it, ‘it was you or our heirlooms,’ so I told them to go on without me. Those heirlooms were precious and would afford them a decent life elsewhere. If I didn’t perish with the plague, I was to find them in the future. I was quite optimistic then, but today I often wonder how different things would be if I asked my family to take me with them instead.
Thankfully, I avoided the plague and got scouted by the auction house. They offered me a good pay and said they’d teach me how to read. The house offered rigorous training and an opportunity to advance in the future. I thought it was a gift from the heavens: this way, I’d be able to make enough money and connections to find my family! Well, I received a good salary, but perhaps it was my lack of ambition that I remained an auctioneer. I suppose I should have studied harder and showed better promise, but I could only read numbers, and I never even learned to write.
Now, I have neither the company of the auction house nor my family to this day. I have some wealth, but that is all. My greatest grievance is loneliness, Your Honor—I am lonely, and I do not know what to do for it.”
Loneliness? In this age? Why, wasn’t there always people up and about these days? How could one claim to be lonely in the age and kingdom of civility?
“Take to the public square and offer your help as you can manage it. Learn the names of those you help, their past and virtues, and help them know each others’. With the fair wealth you accrued, invest in your community so that your family may have a paradise to return to.” I snapped my fingers.
The auctioneer blinked and shortly requested to be dismissed, which I readily granted. Besides leaving upright on two legs, nothing seemed to have changed with the auctioneer, and I briefly wondered if my hypnosis had lost its touch.
“You there,” I called out to one knight who dragged the auctioneer in, “why did you bring that person in? They should have gone to the jails for processing before formal trial if a crime as serious as money laundering was committed.”
“Your Honor, we received a tip some weeks ago that the auction house was a den for money launderers.” The knight replied rather sheepishly. “When we finally surveyed the location, all but the auctioneer had fled, along with the gold we sought to recover.”
I scratched my head with a hint of anger. “Don’t you mean you failed to proceed with your basic duties? When you receive a tip, can’t you act on it immediately?”
“There are a few procedures that limit our ability to act, but this time we were fully neglectful. Some of us fancied a day of idleness, and so the tip went uninvestigated for a long time. It was always on our minds, that was for sure, but we pushed it off with some other responsibilities. It won’t happen again, Your Honor.”
“The peace of the public depends on you! Don’t you understand this?”
“It does occur to me sometimes, but other tines, I’m just proud to wear the armor.”
“Run fifty laps around the hall!”
“Right away, Your Honor.” The knight laughed, as pleasant as a crow. I rolled my eyes and turned to the other knight, who had watched our exchange in a guilty silence.
“You as well!”
“Y-yes, Your Honor!”
⚜️
As had my breakfast in the dining hall, a knight rushed in without prior announcement.
“Your Honor, there are dozens of peasants outside the manor. We tried to get them to disperse, but they’re quite stubborn—they said that they won’t budge until they speak with you. They look unarmed, but there’s too many of them to subdue. Should we chase them off with the hunting dogs?”
I glanced at my dog, a gluttonous, fawn-colored barbet. Although the intrusion of the knight alarmed the barbet, it quickly resumed its favorite activity and lapped at its food with great attention.
“No need for dogs. Didn’t you say that they wanted to talk? Very well—I’m in a good mood, so I shall meet them.” I got up from the dining table, wiping my hands with a linen napkin.
“Your Honor, a crowd that size would be difficult to control…”
“It’s just a couple of peasants. If my knights can’t handle this, how could I depend on them in dire circumstances?” I scoffed, making my way to the entrance hall.
I didn’t fancy letting some peasants into my manor, so I fixed my garments and planned to meet them outside. One look out the doors of the entrance hall, however, and I immediately met the gazes of dozens, no, more than a hundred weary faces wearing strange, floppy hats that covered their ears. I quickly backed away from the grand doors, retreating within.
“Have them send a representative who can speak for all of them. I won’t go out.”
The knights obliged, returning with a message from the peasants: “They won’t comply unless you agree to not have anyone else in the same room. Your Honor, this is extremely risky.”
“Well, lend me a dagger, and that alone shall be enough to fend off a mere peasant. I’m not dull.”
The knights returned to the crowd, with one handing me a dagger. My hands became sweaty in the few minutes that the hall fell empty, and it felt like the dagger would slip out at any moment.
The doors opened once more, and a single peasant wobbled inside, stopping a respectful distance away from me. This one wore no hat and looked directly at my face, unlike the humble appearance of every peasant I’ve met.
“Whatnhyr…” The peasant coughed and pursed their lips before speaking again. “What are your honor’s intentions?”
“What do you mean?” I demanded, “And speak clearly. I can hardly make out what you’re saying.”
“What are. Your honor’s intentions. For. Granting us peasants. Audiences?”
The dagger fell slightly as my grip loosened involuntarily.
What was the reason, again?
“It’s what I’m good at. It’s what the King assigned for me to do.”
“Is ‘at all? Is there. Anything else?”
“What other reason should I have?”
The peasant pursed their lips. It was a moment before they spoke again, this time more steadily and less disjointed.
“You have a power no one else has. Something about you has people feeling hopeful again. The plague took many things away. You have done something that gives back.”
The peasant’s first sentence disarmed me, and I wondered subconsciously whether I was about to find trouble. Hypnosis is a terrible, fearsome power, after all—anyone who learned that hypnosis infiltrated their behavior and discovered it only after the fact would express outrage.
Fortunately, this peasant said nothing but words of gratitude next. I relaxed and fiddled with the dagger in my hand as the peasant slowly continued.
“I suspect it’s because of your honor that people have rediscovered the act of living with one another. People change after visiting the grievance hall. They looked out for others, confessed and asked for help in their inadequacies, and sparked something kind in their neighbors. We’re happy…”
The peasant trailed off. I asked in their silence, “So, what? You’ve all joined hands today to say your thanks? That’s highly unnecessary—in fact, it’s a nuisance. Why interrupt someone’s life just to say thanks? If anything, you should all work harder and know to keep yourselves in check. Abide by the King’s words and do as you are told. That is true appreciation in practice: to do one’s job well. Not whatever this is.” I waved a hand to dismiss the peasant.
“I am not speaking out of appreciation, your honor. I am telling you that people are happier these days, but their lives are not much better.”
“If you are happier, then by default, wouldn’t your life be better?”
“I also believe that should be the case, but let me illustrate to your honor what ‘life’ is for us peasants.” The peasant pursed their lips once more, frowning in concentration.
“Each week, a knight comes round our houses to collect a sum of gold. This is for taxes. Each day, different knights come round for gold, supposedly for taxes as well. If we bump into a knight at the wrong time, we are told to spare a bit of gold. Taxes, all taxes, we are told. I don’t mind paying for the province’s welfare, but there’s only so much gold that we can give.
Each month, the farmers hand over a significant portion of their yield for the king’s quota. Knights and officials seize half of the rest for inspection. The remaining yield belongs to the farmers themselves, who have no choice but to sell it all to keep the rent on their land, hoping that the next month is more bountiful. It’s a miserable cycle that no child of a farmer wants to continue.
Each year, your honor’s courtiers promulgate new regulations and quotas. One year they push for population growth, the next they conscript our youth to send to the border. This wouldn’t be so terrible if we weren’t stretched so thin. We’re always running on the remains of last year, pushing for progress when we can barely maintain our current lives. Each change is something to cope with, nothing else.
Do you understand, your honor? Although we have found happiness and support in each other, the sanctions of the province constrain our lives. The king’s own demands are an illness to us.”
“Don’t you say such a thing!” I felt something bubble in my soul as the peasant concluded their spiel. “The King does everything that we, his subject, are simply unfit to do! His decisions reflect on the entire kingdom. How could you suggest that his rule is an illness? If you think your life is miserable, perhaps you are simply not working hard enough!”
“Your honor, I don’t mean to say that life is miserable, but that our current lives are not right.”
I clenched the dagger in my hand, but thought better of it. “Forget this nonsense that you have construed in your head, and work faithfully for the King. Find solace in your work, and look down upon anyone who does not hold the same passion for work as you do.” I snapped my fingers, accidentally sending the dagger clattering on the floor in my haste.
Embarrassed, I bent down to pick up the dagger and recovered, thinking that the glaze of hypnosis would obscure my fumble. When I looked up, however, I saw the peasant’s eyes clearly focused on me.
I snapped my fingers once more, repeating my suggestion. There was no change in the peasant’s face, except for a curious stare at my fingers.
“So that’s it,” the peasant said, “is it your fingers?”
“How are you unaffected? Didn’t you hear me?” I demanded.
The peasant shook their head. “Your honor, I am deaf. I cannot hear what you say, but I can read your lips.”
Hypnosis doesn’t work on the deaf? I’ve been had!
Frustrated though I was, I knew when to admit defeat and sighed. “Now that you know my secret, what do you want? I can give you riches, a fine house, security for the rest of your life. If you want to become an official of the province’s counsel, I can grant you a spot. I won’t be able to protect you in their verbal battles, however: although I’m the governor, I have little understanding of bureaucracy. You’d have to embark on the changes you desire on your own.”
“I appreciate the suggestion, but I am uneducated, your honor. I also don’t believe I would survive in that position.” The peasant admitted. “I hoped you could send these grievances to the king on our behalf. Perhaps you could use your power on the king to ensure the lives of all us subjects.”
“Are you not alive right now?” I scoffed. “Even so, the King is deaf, just like yourself. I would have no way of controlling him, nor do I have any desire to, no matter how you threaten me.”
“…Well, let our grievances be known. Please send our word to him, and we, the peasantry, shall persist as things develop.”
Although visibly saddened by my words, the peasant maintained a determined gleam in their eyes, anticipating my next words. It occurred to me that they were not threatening me at all and truly waited upon my approval, accepting of whatever decision I made.
So, I promised the peasant what they asked and let them out of the entrance hall. The crowd of peasants retreated, and my knights scrambled to ensure my safety. I waved them off, latently befuddled by my exchange with the peasant, and made to write a letter to the King. I sent the letter in secret, as I was unsure of how my courtiers would react to the idea of myself succumbing to a peasant’s demands.
The King’s letter returned in two months, accompanied by a special decree. In the letter, the King thanked me for being so attentive to his subjects. He told me of his own ambitions and understanding of the peasantry, his tales of youth in warcraft, and a mix of other miscellaneous notes and epiphanies, as though we were close friends. I felt deeply flattered by the letter and preserved it in a secret safe within my bedroom, determining that this would be the start of a long tradition of exchanges.
The decree was simple, yet impactful: a wall was to be built around the province to deal two favors addressing the grievances of the peasantry. One favor was the abundance of jobs and thus the distribution of gold following the construction of the walls. The second favor was the addition of a defensive feature to the province, which would apparently come in handy as word of banditry recently reached His Highness’s ears.
Brief mentions of sexual assault, grooming, and homelessness.